For the first time since.... well. I don't know when. Maybe since I've moved down here. I feel in control of things. I feel more confident in my decisions about life. I know that what I'm doing make sense, in more than one way.

I've been a job-searching machine this week. I have nothing incredibly promising, but I have a few leads, and that feels really, really good. I think I'll be able to make it back by mid-late October.

I had many dreams last night. This, I've found, is a very reliable measure of my mental state. When I don't dream, I feel disconnected from myself, that my id and ego aren't adequately communicating with each other, so I ended up feeling.. split. Last night, however, my dreams were vivid. The first one I remember was that I was at someone's house, don't know who. I was somehow heating up other cars or something with this big white jeep (think OJ's Bronco). I ended up overheating the Jeep, and it caught on fire. I felt really bad, and I think (in my dream) it belonged to an ex of mine, who didn't really seem to care that much. Hm. The other dream I remember was being at Lloyds of Moncton, trying to find a Halloween costume. This dream wasn't that odd, cuz, well, Halloween is approaching, and I've already started thinking about possible costumes. I thought maybe Kelly Osbourne? I have the boobs, the height, and the cheeks. All I need is the outlandish makeup, black hairspray, and maybe a boustier. On the other hand, I have been classical in my Halloween get-ups the past few years (werewolves and zombies...). Maybe I could dust of my old Vampire costume?

Of course, I don't really know where I will be this halloween. For all I know, I could be stuck in my parents basement, giving out treats to the little kiddies. If I have my dithers, though, I'll be in the bedroom of an apartment somewhere in downtown Moncton, giving out treats of my own to one big kid.

Anyway.

I am, right now, really happy. I'm excited about the future, and I'm happy with the present. The work I've been doing here has been going really well. I must say I'm quite proud of myself, for a lot of reasons. I like getting up in the morning and seeing Sexy sleeping in my arms. I like putting on jeans that are two sizes smaller than the jeans I was wearing when I first came here. I like having the sun beam in at me from my window, over the mountains and off the river, while I watch Canada AM. I like walking to work, and waving at people, now that I know most of them. I like that my boss is away for two weeks, allowing me the perfect opportunity to look for jobs. I like how a lot of people are helping me try to find a job.

Yay. \m/

And finally: Everything you wanted to know about stripping.